The Duality of Melania

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Here we have a dilemma: there are videos of Melania Trump snatching her hand away from her husband’s meaty fist, grainy GIFs of her smile dropping as soon as her husband’s back is turned, and the president himself joking about her apparent distaste for him. And yet we also have stories of the first lady’s undying love for the meaty-handed president, the couple’s apparent tendency to make out in public, and their enduring marriage. So which is it?

In a Fox News op-ed written for no apparent reason, Doug Wead, the author of something called Inside Trump’s White House: The Real Story of his Presidency, attempted to debunk the “titillating” rumors that have dominated the Trump White House, including those about the allegedly strained relationship between the Trumps. Wead claimed it’s all false (emphasis ours):

What I discovered inside the Trump bubble was quite different from what had been reported. No, Melania and Donald were not estranged, they were tender lovers, who playfully teased each other.

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Tender lovers! But wait, there’s more tender loving where that came from:

The president sometimes eases the tension by teasing the first lady, saying, sarcastically, with puffed up importance, “Melania, honey, look at this incredible journey I have brought you on.”

And what an incredible journey it’s been.

Because Fox News is apparently obligated to give the Trumps as much positive coverage as humanly possible, Wead also appeared on Fox & Friends on Monday to share even more anecdotes about the special bond between Melania and Donald (emphasis ours):

Wead explained a scene in his book when the Secret Service would not allow the first lady to accompany the president into a combat zone to address the troops. She protested the decision and was allowed to attend.

“She says, ‘If my husband is in danger, I will share the danger.’ And so on Christmas night, they fly out together to be with the troops,” Wead recalled.

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But even President Trump seems to know that Melania might be posturing. Let’s revisit a joke he made just during a recent fundraiser for House Republicans.

From Politico:

The president reflected on the shooting of House Minority Whip Steve Scalise a few years ago and remarked how tough the Louisiana Republican is – and Trump quipped he wouldn’t recommend getting shot as a weight loss plan. Trump also said Scalise’s wife “cried her eyes out when I met her at the hospital that fateful day … I mean not many wives would react that way to tragedy, I know mine wouldn’t.”

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Melania Trump is a complex woman: wants to die with her husband, but also wants her husband to die.

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About the author

Ashley Reese

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.