Don Jr. Is Having a Tough Time Selling His Dumbass Book 

Several major book publishers have turned up their noses at Don Jr.’s proposed new book, according to a Fox Business report. The feeling, in the words of one source, is: “There was basically no interest in a book that’s basically a defense of daddy book when you’re under federal investigation yourself.” But he was going to be a book boy!

How distressing. I had been—quite genuinely—looking forward to seeing Don Jr.’s incredibly rudimentary thought structure translated for the page. All hope is not lost, though, Fox Business reports, as the greed of a faltering industry truly knows no bounds:

Despite the president’s relatively low approval ratings, he still maintains a cult appeal with his most ardent followers. That appeal translates to authors who write glowingly about him, these publishers say.

Trump Jr. could easily sell between 150,000 and 300,000 books, according to one publisher, more than enough to repay an advance of between $500,000 and $1 million.

“Donald Jr. should sell at least as many books as those guys or more,” said one person with direct knowledge of the matter who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “Someone is going to buy his proposal, the question is how much will they pay given the legal issues he faces.”

Sounds like Don Jr. will, at a discount price, probably get that deal after all. And afterwards, I’m pretty sure America—and, more importantly, father—will finally take him seriously. A book boy, after all!