Don Jr. Reportedly Dreams of Being a Book Boy

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It appears that Don Jr., a taxidermied subway rat life brought back to life by a witch’s curse, is searching for a book deal. The New York Post reports that, according to publishing insiders, “Trump Jr. is shopping a tome, and is being repped by top agent David Vigliano’s literary firm, AGI Vigliano.”


“It’s unclear what the book would cover,” the Post continues, which makes sense because I cannot think of a single thing Don Jr. could write that I might want to read. Perhaps he is ready to expose himself further, offering up more details of his family’s disreputable and possibly criminal conduct during the election? He is also qualified to write a guide to business dirtbag fashions, an exhaustive analysis of the Trump men’s dick sizes, or a guide to all the places his terrible dick has been.

On second thought, I can’t wait to read this godforsaken book.

Prachi Gupta is a senior reporter at Jezebel.

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JujyMonkey: unstable genius

Don Jr said he was looking for a ghostwriter and that scared Eric so badly he’s refusing to unlock the door of his bedroom.