Michael Bloomberg Meets A Dog For What Can Only Be the Very First Time

Dogs are pretty straighforward: They’re loyal, they sniff things, and they like to be pet. Petting a dog is one of the easiest things you can do to get yourself into a dog’s good graces, and it doesn’t take much finesse. You simply put your hand on a dog’s head or back—maybe even their tummy if the dog in question is feeling extra friendly—pet, and keep it moving.

But former New York City mayor, current billionaire, and wannabe future president Michael Bloomberg struggled with this simple task during a campaign stop in Burlington, Vermont on Monday. In a video uploaded to Twitter by CBS News reporter Nicole Sganga, Bloomberg is seen shaking a dog’s snout as if it is a supporter’s hand before briefly scratching its head.


Perhaps this was Bloomberg’s attempt at humor, but I’m not entirely convinced Bloomberg knows what humor is. Because of that, Bloomberg likely bored everyone in that room to tears during whatever charisma-free speech or talk he gave, and that dog knows it! Take a listen: sounds like it was yelling “heeELP!” before Bloomberg interveened.

But I regret questioning why Bloomberg threw his hat into the Democratic primary race. He’s doing a great job siphoning off support from his moderate competitors, he promises to use his money chest to help whoever ends up being the Democratic nominee, and he’s clearly providing some laughs (even if they’re at his expense). So, please, Bloombie... keep on keepin’ on.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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Ashley Reese

I’m yelling.