Introducing Nurse Don

Illustration for article titled Introducing Nurse Don
Image: AP (AP)

Donald Trump Jr. is playing nurse now that his girlfriend and fellow Trump re-election campaign goon, Kimberly Guilfoyle, has contracted covid-19.

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The news that Guilfoyle became another number in the covid-19 pandemic—with nearly 3 million confirmed cases and over 132,000 deaths in the United States alone—comes as no surprise to anyone who is aware of her recent activities: Campaigning in Tulsa, Oklahoma (sans mask), hanging out at a crowded Hamptons party (sans mask), and spreading her covid-19-infected air droplets all over people at an indoor rally in South Dakota Friday, one day before it was announced that she had the virus (... sans mask).

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The New York Times reports that Guilfoyle traveled to South Dakota with Don Jr., but that the two did not travel on Air Force One and that Guilfoyle is the only one of the motley crew to have tested positive. Guilfoyle and Don Jr. will apparently drive back to the East Coast from South Dakota.

I’m no doctor, but as someone who has driven to Wyoming from New York City and back... if Don Jr. manages not to contract covid-19 during that incredibly long road trip, then perhaps we’ll need to look into the Trump family’s DNA to see what the fuck is preventing them from getting the Rona.

If he’s concerned, he’s not acting like it on social media. On Sunday, Don Jr. called himself “Nurse Don” on Instagram, noting that he’s looking forward to taking care of Guilfoyle:

Guys thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts. @kimberlyguilfoyle is doing great! Wishing the princess a speedy recovery! And I kinda sorta look forward to waiting on her hand and foot. #NurseDon 🤣 #covid19

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Over 130,000 Americans are dead thanks to a lackadaisical government response to a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic. But the love between Don Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle as they skirt the safety guidelines of that pandemic and potentially harm others? That is very much alive.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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DISCUSSION

tonightimlivinginafantasy
tonight, living in a fantasy

His nursing duties are what? To check with his publicist every few days to see if her publicist has any news from her personal assistant who has news from the poor immigrant that is forced to wait on her?