On Monday, wax museum figure on a very hot day Donald Trump spoke at the centrist “No Labels” convention in New Hampshire, at which he exhibited Olympic-level assholery to every person who asked him a question. Let’s dive in.

First, a woman asked him about the Tea Party/House Freedom Caucus, but he interrupted her before she could ask an actual question.

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“I love the Tea Party,” he said. “These are people that love this country. They do love this country and they want the country to be great.”

“They don’t want Planned Parenthood funded and I think a lot of people understand that including me. They don’t want it funded, I mean, I understand that,” he concluded to booing from the audience.

Then he called on another young woman, who started, “So maybe I’m wrong, maybe you can prove me wrong, but I don’t think that you’re a friend to women. How—”

And that’s all she was able to say before Trump interrupted.

“I knew I shouldn’t have picked her,” he said as the woman attempted to get the microphone back to actually ask a question. “Let me answer that question. I respect women incredibly. I have had women working for me in positions they had never worked in... in terms of so many different jobs. I had a woman in charge of the building of Trump tower many years ago, before it was even— before anyone would even have thought of it, and did a fantastic job.”

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Then, he repeated the same story he has told every time he’s been asked about women’s issues in the past several weeks about how Hillary Clinton said Trump shouldn’t “cherish women” and how he does anyway because he is a feminist hero and his mother is the greatest woman in the history of women.

(I will go on record now saying that whatever campaign person vetted Trump’s frequent usage of the word “cherish” should probably permanently lose their right to work in politics.)

“I will take care of women and I have great respect for women and I do cherish women and I will take care of women,” he concluded powerfully.

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The audience member then followed up by asking if under the Trump presidency she’ll make the same amount of money as her male counterparts and if she’ll be able to control her own body.

“You’re gonna make the same if you do as good a job and I happen to be pro-life,” he responded, which is conveniently condescending and meaningless at the same time.

Finally, a young Asian man attempted to correct Trump on his incorrect claim that South Korea takes advantage of the United States in defense spending.

“Are you from South Korea?” Trump asked.

“I’m not. I was born in Texas, raised in Colorado,” the man responded as Trump literally shrugged.

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“I just want to say that no matter where I’m from, I like to get my facts straight and I want to tell you that that’s not true. South Korea paid $861 million—”

Then, Trump interrupts him permanently and says the phrase, “It’s peanuts” around ten times.

Before this speech I assumed that Trump’s urge to alienate the entire country would be subject to some sort of pacing—offend a college student here, give a speech, say a racist comment there. But it seems he is sprinting a marathon and, as we all know, that can only end with the runner heaving in a puddle of his own shit.


Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.