On Wednesday, Vanity Fair proclaimed in the headline of an extremely negative restaurant review that Trump Grill, the steakhouse in the lobby of Trump Tower, “Could Be the Worst Restaurant in America.” Author Tina Nguyen decried the restaurant’s “flaccid, gray Szechuan dumplings,” “French-ish paintings that look like they were bought from Home Goods,” and “overcooked and mealy” filet mignon.
Here’s how she described the burger:
Renowned butcher Pat LaFrieda once dared me to eat an eyeball that he himself popped out of the skull of a roasted pig. That eyeball tasted better than the Trump Grill’s (Grille’s) Gold Label Burger, a Pat LaFrieda–branded short-rib burger blend molded into a sad little meat thing, sitting in the center of a massive, rapidly staling brioche bun, hiding its shame under a slice of melted orange cheese. It came with overcooked woody batons called “fries”—how can someone mess up fries?—and ketchup masquerading as Heinz. If the cheeseburger is a quintessential part of America’s identity, Trump’s pledge to “make America great again” suddenly appeared not very promising. (Presumably, Trump’s Great America tastes like an M.S.G.-flavored kitchen sponge lodged between two other sponges.)
President-Elect Trump, in lieu of taking intelligence briefings, appears to spend most of his time scouring the media for mention of his last name—like a cat who spends his day locating and chewing on all of your power cords, there is not necessarily a “why” here, it just feels good! And his response, in typical fashion, alleged that no one was actually reading the bad thing he ostensibly just read:
Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Graydon Carter and Donald Trump go way back; in the magazine’s November 2015 editor’s letter, Carter recalled that he used to refer to Trump as a “short-fingered vulgarian” in Spy Magazine, and that in response, over the years Trump would send him pictures of himself with his hands circled in gold sharpie, once writing, “See, not so short!”
That story was so much funnier a month ago!