Under Scott Pruitt’s sweaty reign, the Environmental Protection Agency has become an oozing, sludge-spewing tool of the petrochemical barons who run this godforsaken country, which is why it’s very, very funny that there’s reportedly “poop exploding out of the water fountains” at the actual EPA headquarters right now. Yes, that’s correct—the EPA appears to be shitting itself, and we’re all trapped inside a dark comedy that went straight to DVD.

From E&E News:

The employee, speaking with colleagues, heard there had been black sludge coming out of the water fountains, whose odor wafted into adjacent offices.

Dan Becker, director of the Safe Climate Campaign, said he was told “a sewer problem at EPA HQ has resulted in poop exploding out of water fountains” outside the policy office.

Plumbing problems at headquarters are not new.

“Sometimes there were some very odd smells coming out of those drinking fountains,” said a former agency official who worked on the third floor. That person said there were water stains on the marble floors and an occasional drinking water backup.

“I can’t imagine that anyone would actually drink out of those drinking water fountains,” the official said. “I think I used it to pour my coffee down.”

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I regret to inform you that the wastewater doesn’t appear to have reached Scott Pruitt’s $25,000 “secure phone booth.”