A North Dakota man named Scott Stockert has been arrested after police received a tip that he had traveled to Washington DC with the intention of kidnapping either Bo, the First Dog of the United States, or Sunny, his less powerful sister (The patriarchy at work, am I right?).

Bo and Sunny Obama are both Portuguese water dogs.

NBC News reports:

An officer responding to a tip from the Secret Service tracked down Stockert at the downtown D.C. hotel [a Hampton Inn]. He admitted that he had a shotgun and a rifle in his pickup truck, both unloaded, along with ammunition for the weapons, according to a police report...

When he was arrested, the police report said, Stockert claimed that his parents were John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe and that he came to the capital to announce his campaign for president and advocate for a $99 per month healthcare plan.

Once arrested, he also allegedly claimed to be Jesus Christ and told law enforcement, “You picked the wrong person to mess with. I will [expletive] your world up.”

Law enforcement also found a 12-inch machete and an 18-inch bully club in Stockert’s truck, according to the New York Daily News.

Stockert is reportedly to appear in court on Friday to be formally charged for his possession of unregistered firearms in the city.


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