Help, I’ve run out of Diet Dr. Pepper!
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Wikileaks founder and very annoying man Julian Assange, who has been claiming asylum at the Ecuadorian embassy in London for what feels like 30 years, was arrested by British authorities and charged by the U.S. Department of Justice with “conspiracy to commit computer intrusion.” While Assange is not someone I would want to be roommates with, this is very bad if you believe in ideas like the freedom of the press and the importance of whistleblowing. Meanwhile, Donald Trump claimed today, “I know nothing about Wikileaks. It’s not my thing,” despite saying in 2016 that he “loves Wikileaks.” What to believe?! [Washington Post/Axios]
- Did you, like me, forget that Donald Trump has a sister? [New York Times]
- Another bad man and energy industry insider is now the head of the Department of the Interior. Go to your favorite national parks while you can, kids! [HuffPost]
- Someone not named Paul Manafort—and the former White House counsel of Barack Obama to boot—has been charged by the Department of Justice over his work for clients in Ukraine. [NPR]
- As expected, Ohio’s Republican Governor Mike DeWine signed the state’s “heartbeat bill” into law. The ACLU plans on suing the state. [Cincinnati.com]
- Holden Matthews, the son of a sheriff’s deputy, has been arrested as the suspect in fires at three black churches in Opelousas, Louisiana. All three churches burned to the ground. Investigators blamed his desire to burn black churches on his love of “black metal and its association and history with church burnings in other parts of the world” and not, I don’t know, something else that I can’t quite put my finger on at the moment. [ABC News]
- Would you vote for someone who has a goldendoodle?
- Kamala Harris chooses the correct cow milk alternative.
Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.
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