Who's the Milk Man? An Impeachment Trial Open Thread

Illustration for article titled Whos the Milk Man? An Impeachment Trial Open Thread
Graphic: Elena Scotti (GMG)/Images Getty

In true Trumpian fashion, the president’s impeachment trial is already off to a chaotic start. On Tuesday afternoon, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell originally proposed a set of trial rules calling for compressed arguments and a speedy trial, a move that Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer says, “puts many obstacles in the path of getting witnesses and documents even later.” According to Politico, McConnell’s rules will force “48 hours of opening testimony from the House impeachment managers and the White House counsel into just four days this week.” Meanwhile, the AP reports that Democrats worry these rules could “force midnight sessions that would keep most Americans in the dark and create a sham proceeding.”

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But some hours later McConnell changed his mind about the resolution: NPR reports that he now “allowing impeachment managers and President Trump’s defense team 24 hours across 3 days for arguments, instead of the previously-outlined 2 days.” Whether Congressman Adam Schiff chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, is aware of this slight tweak as he drones on in his screed against this resolution is unclear, but cell phones are banned, so perhaps not!

Fair trials and phones aren’t the only things banned from the Senate floor: Coffee is too. Yes, it appears that the United States continues to sanction torture, because the only beverages allowed are water (bubbly or flat) and... milk.

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Yes, milk.

You can thank Former Senate Minority Whip Everett Dirksen for that one:

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Milk is allowed, but justice is not. Big dairy wins yet again.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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DISCUSSION

daymanaaaa
Fighter of the Nightman

Please Kentucky, I beg of you VOTE OUT THIS POS!

He brings NOTHING of value to your lives. For the love of god if you have to vote in an actual turtle it would be a step up. Please Kentucky, please.