Illustration for article titled We Have Questions About This New iJudge Judy/i-Type Show Starring Sarah Palin

In a life-changing development for me personally, People reported today that Sarah Palin will, God willing, soon be starring in a new reality television courtroom show. As the judge. Sarah Palin will be the judge. Take a moment to screw your heads back onto your bodies, we’ll wait.

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People reports that the show is being produced by a company called Warm Springs and will premiere next year. ABC’s deputy political director Shushannah Walshe, who co-authored a book about Palin, also got confirmation that it’s a “Judge Judy-type” show, although it has yet to be bought by a network:

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This is delightful news, but the Jezebel staff, as a group, also had a questions about the format of the show. The thing is, Judge Judy previously served as an actual judge and has a law license and a legal background. Sarah Palin... does not. (She earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism, eventually.)

So, about this show...

  • Will Palin adjudicate disputes between snowmobiles in a town hall filled with veterans?
  • Will she settle land disputes between wolves?
  • Will she be wearing dressed like Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, doling out old timey advice and shooting people who disagree?
  • Will the loser be shot from a helicopter, maybe?
  • Will the whole show just be Palin in a field of scarecrows, screaming “You’ve got to let each other talk!” at them?
  • Couldn’t it maybe just be Palin in a hall of mirrors?
  • Will it be called Wasilla Justice?
  • Please God, let it be called Wasilla Justice.

This is delightful news, is what we’re saying here, and we will await every update with pained anticipation.

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Image via AP.

Anna Merlan was a Senior Reporter at G/O Media until September 2019. She's the author of Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power.

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