It is hard, sometimes, to stand still.

Particularly when you just said something bad about pussies, and everyone is trying to tell you what to do, and they are wrong, and you are right, and you’d appreciate some attention, and how about some respect, and Hillary should be terrified of you, why isn’t she terrified of you, let’s stand over here right behind her so she’s more terrified of you, and by the way your tummy hurts, okay? ISIS, Benghazi, emails, yes, everyone is listening to Hillary, why, what is she talking about, who cares, prowl like a lion, like the biggest lion, make a face, they’re loving it, ISIS, Putin, law and order, Law & Order, what is that guy staring at, is it over?


Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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