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Below is a list of things that upset me this weekend.

It is outrageous that I spent $65 on dinner last night. How dare I be charged that much for two drinks, two appetizers, and a plate of shrimp? WALL


The weather is sunny but not warm. WALL! We cannot accept what is happening

“I love Ellie’s new hoop earrings,” Julianne says, unlike other haters. Thank you! Also, do not forget the WALL.


So Funny, my roommate says I should wash the dishes. Can you believe it? I will never wash the dishes WALL!!!!

So CVS can stock every product in the Universe except my probiotic? WOW! WALL! This is America!

I have been thrown “under the bus” by my yoga teacher, who made me put my mat at the front of the class WALL where I could not see what other people were doing WALL. No Utkatanasana!


Am I being slowly poisoned by my plastic water bottle? WALL? Want Security and Safety NOW!

Looks like my WALL dermatologist has prescribed me a WALL $400 acne cream that isn’t covered by my WALL insurance. What is going on? Bad!


My sneakers do not have good support. This is STUPID DESIGN, going on for years. Time for WALL?

Hard to believe a man in a polo ran past me screaming “I SAW INSIDE HER BUTT” on Saturday night... we must Do Better! WALL...


Guess what, everybody says bangs are hard to grow out and that I am doing “an incredible job”! Enjoy! Also, WALL!

Funny how my poke bowl place says on the menu that they have sriracha aioli, but they do not actually have it! WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL it is a disgrace!



Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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