Image via AP.

Lawyers for Donald Trump—who I might be tempted to pity if they weren’t so steeped in evil—are advising him to turn down an interview with Robert Mueller lest he immediately perjure himself.

According to a report by the New York Times, the team of attorneys is justifiably concerned that Trump, who is too stupid to successfully keep facts in order, will be charged with “lying to investigators” if Mueller is allowed to question him about Russia’s involvement with the election. I’m no shrink, but if you’re concerned that the President of the United States is so dim that he’ll accidentally lie during a federal investigation, shouldn’t that be grounds enough to impeach him for mental unfitness? Just saying!

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The lawyers may not get their way, though, since Trump and Trump alone decides his actions. Just last month he told reporters that he’s “looking forward” to his discussion with Mueller, adding a hasty “subject to my lawyers, and all of that.” These are exactly the types of contradictory statements that his handlers so fear, and that the rest of us so hope will deliver us from this presidency.

Denying the interview could potentially impel Mueller to subpoena the president to testify before a grand jury, though Trump’s lawyers seem to think that option will be avoided. From the Times:

They are convinced that Mr. Mueller lacks the legal standing to question Mr. Trump about some of the matters he is investigating, like the president’s role in providing a misleading response last summer to a New York Times story about a meeting Mr. Trump’s son Donald Trump Jr. had with Russians offering dirt on Hillary Clinton. The advisers have also argued that on other matters — like the allegations that the president asked the former F.B.I. director, James B. Comey, to end the investigation into the former national security adviser Michael T. Flynn — the president acted within his constitutional authority and cannot be questioned about acts that were legal.

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Trump is expected to make his decision in the coming weeks.