Illustration for article titled Trump Wants to Debate Sanders to Raise Millions For Maybe Women’s Health Issues or Something

Donald Trump, a bewildered, golden-helmeted astronaut who’s just landed on this planet from a distant galaxy, wants to debate Bernie Sanders. He will only do so, however, in a giant arena and only if someone pledges millions of dollars to “women’s health issues or something.” Tragically, nobody asked him which ones.


Trump proposed this novel idea Thursday during a “press availability” in North Dakota, which in Trump’s case means a bizarre fever dream in which he stands behind a podium for hours, haranguing a group of reporters with a series of lies, insults, half-truths, sentence fragments, and probably spittle flecks for the frontmost rows.


The Sanders camp has signaled a willingness to debate Trump, which is sort of odd considering that Sanders is, mathematically, not going to be the Democratic nominee.

“We are ready to debate Donald Trump,” Sanders’ campaign manager Jeff Weaver told CNN Chief Beard Wolf Blitzer. “We hope he will not chicken out. I think it will be great for America to see these two candidates and the different visions they have for America going forward.”

Trump responded, “I’d love to debate Bernie. He’s a dream. If we can raise for maybe women’s health issues or something. If we can raise $10 or $15 million for charity, which would be a very appropriate amount.”

Sanders, rather than pointing out that a debate doesn’t usually resemble a celebrity boxing match, is into the idea:


Sanders did not address Trump’s plan to somehow raise money for the nation’s ailing vaginas.

This is a sideshow and a nonsensical distraction and I deeply want to see it.

Photo via AP

Anna Merlan was a Senior Reporter at G/O Media until September 2019. She's the author of Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power.

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