Image: Getty Images

The President only tweeted three times today, thank God

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • President Trump signed an executive order today that aims to protect free speech on college campuses. Of course, this is all coded language used to decry the “phenomenon” of oppressed conservative college kids. The right has decided that preventing inflammatory hate mongers to speak on college campuses and allowing professors to discuss concepts of “privilege” are sacrilege, and the president—naturally—is eating it up. [CNN]

  • It looks like Joe Biden really wants Stacey Abrams on his ticket. [Axios]
  • I’m not going to lie, some of the 2020 contenders have some cute husbands. [CNN]
  • Unfortunately, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas spoke. [New York Times]
  • Charles Kushner decided to speak too. [Washington Post]
  • Andrew Gillum launched a voter registration drive in Florida. [CNN]
  • Philidelphia may soon see a serious shift in criminal justice reform as the DA is suggesting staffers not to seek more than three years of probation or parole on top of jail time. [Philly Inquirer]
  • Rep. Devin Nunes sued a parody cow on Twitter? [New York Times]
  • Just a cute thing:

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Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

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This has been Barf Bag.