Trump Doesn't Know What 'Clean Dream Act' Means But He Thinks It Sounds Great

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.
Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

This is nice.

  • Trump held a bipartisan meeting on immigration reform today to show off his A+ skills in Deals and Negotiations. When Sen. Dianne Feinstein proposed a “clean Dream Act”—meaning a Dream Act without additional security/enforcement measures attached—Trump initially was all cool that sounds great! and House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy was like ahh no back up wtf!!! Trump then said he would sign literally whatever passes Congress: “If they come to me with things I’m not in love with, I’m going to do it,” he said (that one’s a real quote). Another real quote: “I think the president uses ‘wall’ for ‘border security,’” House minority whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) told Politico. “I think he thinks they’re interchangeable.” [Politico]
  • Steve Bannon is out at Breitbart. Unclear where he is at this precise moment, but my money is on a D.C. tattoo parlor, getting a tattoo of Thomas Cromwell on his upper thigh. [Washington Post]
  • Sen. Dianne Feinstein unexpectedly released a transcript of Fusion GPS co-founder Glenn Simpson’s interview with congressional investigators, in which Simpson, Politico writes, “told congressional investigators in August that the FBI found the dossier credible because an unnamed ‘human source’ associated with Trump had offered the bureau corroborating information.” [Politico]
  • A new federal court order will allow the Republican National Committee to “supercharge” their voter suppression efforts. [ThinkProgress]
  • Joe Arpaio, who should be in jail, will instead be running for Jeff Flake’s Senate seat. [Politico]
  • Ahhhhhhhfdkasl;fjskal 

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

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This has been Barf Bag.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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DISCUSSION

omgponies-at
OMG!PONIES!

Between Steve Bannon getting shitcanned from Breitbart and Trump purportedly softening his stance on DACA, the Deplorables in the Breitbart comments section have been furious today, with much gnashing of teeth and rending of MAGA hats.

As per a couple of requests, tonight, the role of Such Doge will be performed by Henri, shown here guarding my daughter when she was a newborn. Loyal, patient, handsome, and kind of a weenie, Henri is my dog. And my boy.

Endlessly fun and affectionate, he and I have a connection. I adore Marzipan but Henri came first. There’s no replacing him.

The only bad thing about them is that, because of their age difference, there’s a good chance that, 10-12 years from now, we’ll lose them both. Getting a dog is an exercise in delayed heartbreak. Until that time, a dog will fill your life with joy and give you faith that there is goodness in this world.

A man without a dog is a man without a conscience.