The real national emergency is the fact that I drank nine cans of Diet Dr. Pepper today and still feel alive!
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Trump is apparently prepared to declare a national emergency to get his border wall. [New York Times]
- Now is a good time to bone up on what Trump can do if he wishes to—legally, it should be noted—continue to trample on our fraying democratic norms. [The Atlantic]
- Here are House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s thoughts on Trump’s decision to declare a national emergency so he can build his wall: “You want to talk about an national emergency? Let’s talk about today, the one-year anniversary of another manifestation of the epidemic of gun violence in America.” [Washington Post]
- And now I’m crying. [Twitter]
- Another bad man is now officially our new attorney General. [Washington Post]
- Here’s some goss from former FBI director Andrew McCabe, who is on a book tour (sidenote to former government officials: please stop writing books and please start burning shit!!!): After James Comey was fired, the FBI reportedly talked about ways to remove Trump from office. [New York Magazine]
- Jared Kushner is still trying. [Politico]
- Some Republicans in Kansas want to define gay marriage as “parody marriage” as well as create something called “elevated marriage” for the straights and I just died. [USA Today]
- Some good news: Denver teachers won. [Vox]
- Some more good news: Amazon announced it’s no longer planning to build a second headquarters in New York City, and thank god for activists who give a shit. [New York Times]
- Meanwhile, a reminder why Bill de Blasio should not run for president or for any office ever again. [Twitter]
Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.
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