These Four Women Thought Forming an All White 'Squad' Was a Good Idea

The so-called “Squad”—comprised of progressive Congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ayanna Pressley, Ilhan Omar, and Rashida Tlaib—have served less than one year of their freshman term in Congress, and have spent the entirety of that time living rent-free in Republicans’ heads. From Tucker Carlson segments to President Trump’s tweets, the Republican party’s fixation on the Squad has bordered on obsessive. And now, that obsession has come to its most predictable endpoint: a bunch of white women appropriating them. Meet the “Conservative Squad,” a clan of four white women running for Congress in 2020.

The Conservative Squad consists of Alabama congressional candidate Jessica Taylor, South Carolina congressional candidate Nancy Mace, Texas congressional Beth Van Dyne, and Minnesota congressional candidate Michelle Fischbach. They made their world debut Thursday morning on Fox and Friends, promising to combat the “Socialist Squad” and make the Republican party relevant for younger voters.

“We are losing the younger generations of this country,” said Taylor, the unofficial ringleader of this crew. “I’m so grateful that [the Conservative Squad] willing to join up and help in this cause.”

“I love granddads everywhere, but this is not your granddad’s GOP anymore!” Mace said.

And when the Conservative Squad weren’t hinting at generational shifts, deriding “do-nothing Democrats,” or sneering at the impeachment inquiry, they were making the case that 2020 will be the year of the Republican woman.

“We see so many women across the country right now—Republican women—who are picking up the mantle and want to serve,” Mace said. “They say ‘enough is enough, my kid and my country are worth fighting for.’”

Women of the right are certainly organizing for Trump, but they’re not necessarily making their way to Capitol Hill: Of the 102 women elected to Congress in 2018, only 13 were Republicans. This has somehow left Republican women stumped, despite research showing that the demographic and values shifts have increasingly made Republican politics irrelevant or flat out dangerous to many Americans under the age of 40.

But the Conservative Squad is trying to change that, one Republican scare tactic at a time.

Still, the most galling part of the segment was when Fox and Friends’ awestruck host Ainsley Earnhardt said, “You know, I’m sitting here thinking: This is so amazing, our country is so great. There are other countries where women can’t even drive.”

Wow, what would we do without these amazing white Republican women, whose very existence reminds us of how grateful we are to… legally drive? Okay, sure.