Image: AP

Not unlike that one girl you went to high school with, the Trump White House insists that the president’s orange visage is 100 percent natural. No sun beds, no bronzer, no tanning sprays: just, as one senior White House official said, “good genes.” Yes... “good.”

The New York Times reports that the president’s carrot-like glow has long been a mystery. (Is it, though?) Old boarding school classmates say that Trump was a fan of tanning bulbs and former Trump aide Omarosa Manigault Newman wrote in her recent tell-all that he still uses a tanning bed. But where’s the alleged tanning bed now?

From the Times:

... According to three people who have spent time in the White House residence, no such bed or spray-tan booth exists in a hidden nook of the residence, a cranny of the East Wing or a closet on Air Force One. Two senior White House officials insisted that no such apparatus exists.

The Times spoke with a dermatologist who suspects that Trump uses creams or sprays to resemble a weird pumpkin. That the president is using something to make his face look like that is not surprising to anyone who has had the misfortune of looking at a high-definition photo of his face: the area around his eyes is significantly paler than the rest of his skin:

“There have been enough people that have asked me in his orbit,” though not on the president’s behalf, to see what Mr. Trump could do to achieve a more even skin tone, Dr. Alster said. “I have nothing against self-action tanning creams, but I think you need to be careful about how you apply it.”

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If Trump enjoys resembling the Cheeto powder that left my fingers orange and stained as a child, so be it. At least he has an ally in his similarly orange wife.