Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

Trump’s White House is crawling with vermin—and I’m not just referring to Stephen Miller, HA HA HA HA. According to White House work orders over the past two years, the building has had “at least four” cockroach infestations and faces no shortage of dead mice, and there was a colony of ants living in Chief of Staff John Kelly’s office. It’s hard to make a job in this administration seem less appealing, but here we are.


A sampling of the 2017 work orders, obtained by NBC4 Washington, include desperate pleas from the East Wing (“THE AIR CONDITIONING IS BLOWING HOT AIR. EXTREMELY HOT”), cleanup orders from the West Wing ground floor entrance area (“there are cob webs with dead bugs stuck in them around the ceiling”), more poorly-worded and bone-chilling requests from the West Wing (“Several roach sighting”; “PLEASE HAVE SOMEONE PICK UP DEAD MOUSE), and a mysteriously “out of control fan” operating at “very high speeds” in the Fox News section of the basement press area.

Also requested: a new toilet seat for the Oval Office bathroom.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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