The Universe Is Thirsty to Give Rudy Giuliani Coronavirus

Illustration for article titled The Universe Is Thirsty to Give Rudy Giuliani Coronavirus
Image: Mandel Ngan (Getty Images)
Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Karma’s got its kiss for Rudy Giuliani. According to CNN, President Trump’s scheduled trip to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania has been canceled following news that Giuliani—the president’s personal lawyer an America’s court jester—was exposed to covid-19... again. The culprit this time: Trump adviser Boris Epshteyn, who released a statement Wednesday confirming that he was experiencing mild symptoms. Only five days ago, Giuliani’s son Andrew also tested positive for covid-19. Both Andrew and Epshteyn attended last week’s absurd press conference in which Giuliani and other members of President Trump’s legal team continued to falsely claim that the 2020 election results were rigged.

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So, to review: 76-year-old Giuliani has had contact with two covid-19 positive individuals in the last week.

It’s a miracle that Giuliani hasn’t contracted the deadly virus already. He was alongside the president for debate prep not long before Trump went public with his own covid-19 diagnosis, and he’s spent plenty of time—maskless—in White House covid-19 cesspools before that. Remember this nasty moment during the Republican National Convention back in August?

I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see what happens next, because if Giuliani manages to get yet another covid-19 reprieve, the CDC needs to study his ass.


In an otherworldly act of pettiness, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin will reportedly put $455 billion in unspent CARES Act funding into an account that his Biden administration replacement, Janet Yellen, would need congressional approval to access. Considering how split Congress is at the moment and how many Americans are dropping dead or losing their life’s savings from covid-19 every single day, what could possibly go wrong?

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Mnuchin insists this is perfectly legal under CARES Act guidelines. Legal though it may be... what the actual fuck, dude?

From Bloomberg:

The money will be placed in the agency’s General Fund, a Treasury Department spokesperson said Tuesday. Most of it had gone to support Federal Reserve emergency-lending facilities, and Mnuchin’s clawback would make it impossible for Yellen as Treasury secretary to restore for that purpose without lawmakers’ blessing.

[...]

Any move by Yellen to take the money back out of the general account and into the stabilization fund would likely trigger a wave of Republican protests — a battle she may prefer to avoid early in her tenure.

[...]

[Mnuchin] said that many markets are no longer in danger of seizing up and don’t need aid beyond next month, when the programs are scheduled to expire.

The Treasury chief said that the funds can be better applied to specific areas of the economy with the greatest need, through congressionally approved grants.

“For companies that are impacted by Covid — such as travel, entertainment and restaurants — they don’t need more debt, they need more PPP money, they need more grants,” Mnuchin said in an interview last week.

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Congress can’t agree on whether the sky is blue, let alone how to allocate vital funds.

Thanks, Mnuchin!


  • President-elect Biden is going to deliver a Thanksgiving address, which surely won’t infuriate President Trump. [Washington Post]
  • Rumor has it Trump is going to pardon good ol’ Michael Flynn. [Axios]
  • Here’s a fun little story about how Trump’s plans to usurp the Michigan election results were thwarted. [Politico]
  • Speaking of elections, Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger wrote an op-ed in USA Today about Trump shat on him, a loyal Republican voter. [USA Today]
  • The number of Americans applying for unemployment has risen. [AP]
  • Whatdya know, it looks like that other Georgia senator—Sen. David Perduealso profited from some covid-19 stocks. [AP]
  • LOL

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

DISCUSSION

The most astonishing thing about all these election fraud pressers is that I keep disappointing myself in being astonished that this moronic shit actually works on his supporters. Like, they truly believe it’s all coming down on Biden and the Dem machine. That even if Rudy somehow got to SCOTUS, and while he was making his argument he opened his briefcase and a bunch of spring snakes popped out scaring him so much his pants and underwear fell down and he pissed and shit on the floor of SCOTUS then he slipped and fell backwards into it cracking his skull open as hey lay bleeding and unconscious in his own filth, trump supporters would consider it like the Mr. Smith Goes to Washington speech and that SCOTUS would have no choice but to overturn the election for... “reasons”?

Anyways, happy thanksgiving, y’all.