The Trump Administration Is Cyanide Bombing Coyotes Now

Illustration for article titled The Trump Administration Is Cyanide Bombing Coyotes Now
Screenshot: WB Kids

Because the horrors the Trump administration commits against human victims is not enough for a White House gluttonous for villainy, the Department of Cartoon Solutions to Wildlife Management Problems recently announced that it will be reinstating a program to drop cyanide bombs on animals such as coyotes and foxes.

The use of the sodium cyanide-filled spring-loaded traps, called M-44s, has been used in the past by Wildlife Services to rid private farmers and ranchers of nuisance animals. In 2018 alone, M-44s were used to eradicate 6,500 animals, from, “beavers to black bears, wolves, ducks and owls,” according to The Guardian. However, M-44s have also been known to kill endangered species and pets, leading to bans and halts on use in states like Oregon, Idaho, and Colorado, though their use was reinstated on August 6.

Wildlife Servies currently faces a lawsuit by the family of a teenager who was poisoned by an M-44:

“In 2017, a teenage boy named Canyon Mansfield was hiking with his dog in the woods behind his family’s home in Pocatello, Idaho when Mansfield’s dog triggered a cyanide trap that sprayed a plume of poison dust into the air. The dog died on the spot and Mansfield was rushed to the hospital, where he ultimately recovered. His parents are suing Wildlife Services over the poisoning.”


In the period before the reauthorization of M-44s, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) was bombarded with calls and complaints from those concerned about the ramifications of putting poison bombs where children and puppies can trigger them. But everyone can rest easy, new restrictions state the cyanide bombs can no longer be placed within 100 feet of public roads, so that ought to fix it.

The new decision is only temporary, and a final ruling is expected in 2021.

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Rarely Sober Insomniac

As we all know, cyanide traps can easily tell the difference between a coyote, a child, or a household pet. And no child or pet ever goes farther than 100 feet from a road, ever! Find me an example!

Why, this might be the safest way to deal with a threat since the landmine was invented. And we know how well landmines work, too; they are even effective years and years after their initial use, so consider the savings inherent right there.

Actually, why is this administration NOT using landmines to deal with these pesky coyotes? We better write our congressman about this oversight!

Sarcasm tag, fucking obviously.