Image via Getty.

It’s my birthday! Just letting you know.

  • Trump did “exceedingly well” on a cognitive test, claimed Navy Rear Adm. Ronny L. Jackson, who has been the lead White House doctor since 2013. Here’s the test. Honestly, okay, it took me a second to think of the word for “camel,” which I blame entirely on the president’s daily assault on my attention span. [Washington Post]
  • He also takes propecia.
  • Speaking of brains working great, Trump is now claiming that he wants immigrants to come in “from everywhere.” [Reuters]
  • A compelling statement, particularly since the Trump Justice Dept. is asking the Supreme Court to overturn a judge’s ruling and allow it to end the DACA program. [Washington Post]
  • Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen got dunked on hard today at a Senate hearing after claiming she “did not hear” Trump’s “shithole” comments. [Politico]
  • I always forget how good Sen. Kamala Harris is at verbal disembowelment. [Raw Story]
  • Steve Bannon was subpoenaed by Mueller for unknown reasons. [New York Times]
  • Over 20 states are suing the FCC over net neutrality. [Washington Post]
  • Here’s Orrin Hatch taking a pair of invisible glasses off his head. 

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

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This has been Barf Bag.

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