Illustration for article titled The Internet Wishes Rat King a Happy Birthday

I can’t believe it’s Ted Cruz’s 45th birthday already! I feel like it was just yesterday that he was a lonely future dictator at Princeton.


Polls are showing that Cruz is rapidly gaining on the leading candidate, a deflated air mattress, and it looks like a very few prominent Republicans are making public displays of good will just in case he somehow wins.

If that’s any indication, Cruz is going to have a sad weird cabinet:


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