The FBI Seized 731 Pages of Michael Cohen's Text Messages, Which Sure Seems Like a Lot of Pages 

I feel as though I’ve aged about 177 years in the last 8 hours.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Federal prosecutors now have more than 700(!) pages of call logs and encrypted text messages from former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, who is under investigation for several crimes including bank fraud and campaign finance law violations. They also reconstructed 16 pages of shredded documents as part of the 3.7 million documents seized in a raid of his office, home, and and hotel room. So many documents! [Bloomberg]
• Donald Trump is blaming Democrats for his own policy to snatch children away from their parents and saying he “hates” it. “The children can be taken care of quickly, beautifully, and immediately,” he told reporters on the White House lawn. “The Democrats forced that law upon our nation. I hate it, I hate to see the separation between parents and children.” Utterly disgusting. [TPM]
• Meet America’s biggest grifter, EPA head Scott Pruitt. [New York Times]
• Joe Arpaio, former Arizona sheriff, current Senate candidate, and forever racist has no sympathy for children separated from their parents at the border. In fact, he says the parents are to blame for trying to enter the country in the first place “When I get to Washington, I’m going to make sure there’s another law—a tougher law—to go after these people,” he said. [The Hill]
• Though Republicans expected Trump’s support on two competing immigration bills, Trump now says he won’t sign the compromise bill, which is the only bill that gives DACA-recipients a chance at maintaining their status. [The Hill]
• Republicans refuse to mess with the gun lobby, but they are completely cool with curbing the civil liberties of students to try to make schools safer. State officials and Texas, Ohio, Florida are quietly trying to monitor social media activity of their students—an expensive, time-consuming effort that one ACLU analyst worries will breed “an atmosphere of mutual suspicion and surveillance” among teens. [Vice]
• Paul Manafort, a man whose alleged crimes are higher than the number of pores on my face, is no longer under house arrest. Instead, he must now await his July trial from inside a jail cell. Lock him up, lock him up, etc. [Bloomberg]
• Why isn’t the Democratic Party supporting more black women candidates? [The Atlantic]
• Doctors are condemning the Trump adminstration’s policy to separate children from their families, warning of the short and long-term impacts separation leaves on children and their parents. “This is something that was inflicted on this child by the government, and really is nothing less than government-sanctioned child abuse,” said Dr. Colleen Kraft, a pediatrician who has visited detention centers where children are separated from parents. [CNN]
• A former staffer at a migrant detention center confirms your suspicions: conditions inside the centers are terrible. [Los Angeles Times]
• Sen. Rand Paul’s neighber Rene Boucher is going to spend one month in prison for attacking Paul over a landscaping-related dispute. [TPM]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.