The Devos Family Has 10 Goddamn Yachts???? 

Somebody seems to have untied a yacht owned by the Devos family last night, setting it briefly adrift. The important information in this news story is that it’s just one of TEN YACHTS belonging to the Devos family. How in the hell do you have TEN YACHTS?

Toledo’s Blade has the story:

The Seaquest was moored at the Huron Boat Basin, 330 Main St., according to a police report. The captain of the 163-foot yacht, worth a reported $40 million, called police at about 6 a.m. Sunday, telling them that he and the crew realized at sunrise that someone had untied Seaquest from the dock, setting it adrift.

The vessel — named the SeaQuest — was moored at a basin in Huron, Ohio, when the captain reported it became untied and sent adrift around 6 a.m. Sunday, The Blade reports. The yacht struck the dock and ended up with large scrapes before the crew was able to gain control of it, according to a police report.

Those scrapes will be something like $5,000 to $10,000 to fix, which is Dunkin Donuts coffee money to a bunch of people with TEN FUCKING YACHTS. How? How??? I mean, yes, the literal answer is that the Devos family founded Amway; Betsy is the richest of the many rich people in the Trump cabinet, CBS News noted. But on a broader level: How?????

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10! TEN YACHTS!

Suddenly the house makes more sense.