Every four years, we are blessed with the spectacle of presidential candidates descending upon the Iowa State Fair and gamely eating their weight in meat and fried foods on sticks, all while smiling and trying not to puke.
Who won this important pandering contest, based on their pure dedication to the task?
Kamala Harris
Here she is opening a box of pork.
And then eating the pork.
She regrets… nothing!
Just Kamala and the Pork Queen of Iowa, flipping some pork.
Cory Booker
Noted vegan Cory Booker found a deep-fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I can only imagine it was a revelation!
Do you love anything more than Cory Booker loves this deep-fried PB&J?
Andrew Yang
Like Andrew Yang, I too have had extremely amorous feelings for a turkey leg.
Elizabeth Warren
Elizabeth Warren was not going to let an aide get between her and a foot-long corn dog.
Bernie Sanders
The next day, Bernie joined her, though I detect a note of weariness.
Here he is sharing the corn dog wealth equally between himself and his wife Jane.
Tulsi Gabbard
Vegetarian Tulsi Gabbard found some deep-fried avocados.
Kirsten Gillibrand
Yawn.
Not pictured: Bill de Blasio also eating a corn dog, the Klob flipping some pork chops while softly chanting, “Midwest, midwest, midwest,” and Marianne Williamson living off spirit alone.