Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press

Every four years, we are blessed with the spectacle of presidential candidates descending upon the Iowa State Fair and gamely eating their weight in meat and fried foods on sticks, all while smiling and trying not to puke.

Who won this important pandering contest, based on their pure dedication to the task?

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Kamala Harris

Here she is opening a box of pork.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press

And then eating the pork.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Getty
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She regrets... nothing!

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press
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Just Kamala and the Pork Queen of Iowa, flipping some pork.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press
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Cory Booker

Noted vegan Cory Booker found a deep-fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
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I can only imagine it was a revelation!

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
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Do you love anything more than Cory Booker loves this deep-fried PB&J?

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
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Andrew Yang

Like Andrew Yang, I too have had extremely amorous feelings for a turkey leg.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press
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Elizabeth Warren

Elizabeth Warren was not going to let an aide get between her and a foot-long corn dog.

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Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press

Bernie Sanders

The next day, Bernie joined her, though I detect a note of weariness.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press
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Here he is sharing the corn dog wealth equally between himself and his wife Jane.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press
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Tulsi Gabbard

Vegetarian Tulsi Gabbard found some deep-fried avocados.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
Image: Associated Press
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Kirsten Gillibrand

Yawn.

Illustration for article titled The Agony and the Ecstasy of Presidential Candidates Going Hard at the Iowa State Fair
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Not pictured: Bill de Blasio also eating a corn dog, the Klob flipping some pork chops while softly chanting, “Midwest, midwest, midwest,” and Marianne Williamson living off spirit alone.

Senior reporter, Jezebel

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