When you aren’t giving a stump speech, the campaign trail is a chance to prove you’re a nice, fun-loving American who likes things that nice, fun-loving Americans like. Repellant also-ran Ted Cruz’s target demographic involves impressing people who love to pray, shoot, and, importantly, eat.
Here he is across the country with food as rich as his patriotism and an appetite as big as his dick (just kidding).
Good luck achieving orgasm ever again.
Images via AP and Getty.