Ted Cruz Thinks He's Funny

Illustration for article titled Ted Cruz Thinks He's Funny
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Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Eff this tweet, eff April Fools Day, and eff James Comey!:


Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Ted Cruz thinks he’s funny. [Ted Cruz]
  • A lawsuit against Holland Christian High School—Betsy DeVos’s alma mater—illustrates how DeVos’s new Title IX policies are making it harder for victims of sexual assault to seek justice. [The New York Times]
  • The Supreme Court’s conservative majority just essentially legalized torture and authorized a lethal injection that will cause a man on death row to suffocate to death while he bleeds out. [Slate]
  • Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen is requiring more asylum seekers to stay in Mexico. [Politico]
  • Will comedian Volodymyr Zelenskiy become Ukraine’s next president? [The New Republic]
  • After weeks of mass protests, Algeria’s president, Abdelaziz Bouteflika, will step down in April after twenty years of rule. [The Guardian]
  • A longtime White House security adviser, Tricia Newbold, told Congress that the Trump administration reversed 25 security clearance denials, which have exposed national security secrets. [Washington Post]
  • A group of Senate Democrats are planning to introduce a constitutional amendment to abolish the Electoral College. [Politico]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.

Prachi Gupta is a senior reporter at Jezebel.


Mortal Dictata

So we’ve just had indicative votes again, and once again they voted against every single option, with the customs union option coming closest with it losing by only 2 votes and the confirmatory vote (i.e. Second Ref/People’s Vote) losing by less than the total amount of Labour MPs who voted against it.

These people are genuinely fucking useless.