Ted Cruz, our favorite butter cow-loving senator from Texas, dropped some serious snark at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) on Thursday. In conversation with Ben Domenech of The Federalist, the two eased in to a conversation about gun control with...The Simpsons.
Domenech: When Homer and Lisa were having a conversation about gun rights in America—look it up, it’s in “The Cartridge Family” episode—Homer points out that guns are for things like protecting your family, hunting delicious animals, and making sure that the King of England never shows up to push you around.
Cruz: All good things!
Domenech: Lisa’s response to this is to say that, “Well, dad, it’s actually a relic, a remnant of the Revolutionary War era, it doesn’t really mean anything anymore.” What do you say to that?
Cruz: I think the Democrats are the party of Lisa Simpson, and Republicans are happily the party of Homer, and Bart, and Maggie, and Marge.
Cute, except, uh, Lisa fucking rules. And yeah, she would have totally been a SJW on Tumblr before graduating to a rose-emoji-in-bio Twitter socialist, but that just makes her cooler. Lisa has consistently proven herself to be the most intelligent member of the family, and the fact that she’s caring and justice-oriented is incredibly endearing. If anything, comparing her to the Democratic party is more of an insult to Lisa than anyone else. Meanwhile, Homer and Bart might have their hearts in the right places, but they’re clearly the most dimwitted of the entire Simpson clan. Marge? Let’s be real, she ain’t a Republican. Maggie: A baby.
I understand that Ivy League-educated right wingers like Cruz love to pretend that they identify with an everyman like Homer Simpson, but this undoubtedly a self-drag.
Anyway, here’s Simpsons superfan Ted Cruz doing some cringeworthy impressions of Simpsons characters back in 2016 when he thought he had a shot at being president: