Still Nobody Has Explained to Donald Trump How Babies Are Born

On Monday, in an exclusive interview with the withered hellmouth Pat Robertson, Donald Trump elaborated on his opposition to late-term abortions, which he described in the last presidential debate in the most confused (and confusing) terms.


“The baby is about two-thirds already born in the birth canal,” Robertson fantasized. “The doctor punches its skull and then evacuates the brain. It is the most barbaric thing.” (It is not.)


“Well, according to the rules of Hillary you can take the baby at nine months and you can imagine what you have to do to that baby to get it out,” he told Robertson, who has a very vivid imagination that he puts to great use. “And you can take that baby at nine months and you can abort. And a day prior to birth you can take that baby. And I said that’s unacceptable.”

For two men who have nine children between them, Trump and Robertson sure don’t seem to have a particularly clear grasp of how babies are born.

Reporter, Special Projects Desk

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This man looked like he was 100 years old when I was just a kid. How is he still alive?

I’m not really asking, because of course I know. The good die young, and only assholes live forever.