Please send me your best “de-operationalized” jokes in the comments below.
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Yesterday, amid reports that crumbling lead pipe Steve Bannon is quickly losing sway in a warring White House, Donald Trump told the New York Post that he “didn’t know Steve” before he joined the campaign in August (that is not true) and that “he was not involved in my campaign until very late” (Bannon ran the bulk of Trump’s general election campaign). If this sounds familiar, it’s because his administration has made similar overtures before; when someone is causing Trump problems, his favorite way to deal with it is apparently to pretend he actually doesn’t know that person very well. Bannon, who refers to his West Wing office as his “war room” and speaks in what the New York Times calls a “trademark military vernacular,” seems to be getting routed by this guy. Pew pew. [New York Times]
- Rex Tillerson’s meeting with Putin didn’t seem to go too well. Wouldn’t it be funny if we got into a war with Russia just to prove that Trump is “no puppet”? I don’t know, food for thought! [New York Times]
- Trump flip flopped harder than usual today. NATO, he says, is “no longer obsolete.” [ABC News]
- China is actually not a currency manipulator, never mind on that, too. [WSJ]
- Okay also never mind about the hiring freeze. [NPR]
- “It really is painful to myself to know that I did something like that,” Sean Spicer said, managing a robust apology for yesterday’s incredible Hitler commentary but, as ever, not quite managing to say his sentence right. [New York Times]
- The FBI obtained a FISA warrant last summer to monitor Carter Page, an “informal” advisor to then-candidate Trump. [Washington Post]
- Legal marijuana activists are holding a “joint session” in D.C. on April 20th—nice. [The Hill]
Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.