Space Pence Is Ready to Do Space Force

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Space Pence Is Ready to Do Space Force
Image:AP

The 2020 candidates have been noticeably silent about the chicken sandwich wars.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Vice President Pence announced that U.S. Space Command—the precursor to President Trump’s pet project, Space Force—will launch August 29. Space Force is a prospective branch of the military that Pence said will, “ensure that our nation is prepared to defend our people, defend our interests, and […] defend our values in the vast expanse of space and here on Earth.” So are we prepping for aliens or what? Does Pence even believe there is life outside of planet Earth? What happened to storming Area 51? [USA Today]
  • President Trump says that Jewish Americans who vote Democrat are showing “great disloyalty” to Israel. [Axios]
  • The Trump administration is still plugging its ears and going “LALALALALALALA” in response to recession rumors. [CNN]
  • Elizabeth Warren wants to repeal the controversial 1994 crime bill. [Politico]
  • Freaky shit!
  • There is a new Trump:

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.

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