Sharpie Boy Reads From Sharpie Notes

Image: Getty

What to do when you’re an increasingly decrepit man with worsening eyesight whose already limited brain cells have been steadily leaking out of your ears, and you’re tasked with defending yourself in the midst of an impeachment hearing to a group of reporters?

Naturally, you write a note to yourself in very large letters, knowing there is an incredibly high likelihood that without said note, you may not remember what exactly you want to say, as Donald Trump did on Wednesday before he spoke about the incredibly damning testimony of Gordon Sondland, the U.S. ambassador to the European Union. Sondland, a man who essentially bought his ambassadorship with a tidy one million dollar donation to Trump’s inaugural committee only to find himself in the extremely uncomfortable position of having to tell on Trump and his associates, testified on Wednesday that there was a “clear quid pro quo” and that “we followed the president’s orders” when it came to efforts to pressure Ukraine. Welp!

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Trump, of course, decided to cherry pick a couple of lines from Sondland’s testimony that were slightly less incriminating, ones that in light of the rest of his testimony, I’m definitely side-eyeing.

Here’s a closeup of Trump’s note, in which Trump misspells the last name of the Ukrainian president. It reads in full, “I WANT NOTHING I WANT NOTHING I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. TELL ZELLINSKY [SIC] TO DO THE RIGHT THING. THIS IS THE FINAL WORD FROM THE PRES OF THE U.S.”

Image: Getty
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I WANT NOTHING

I WANT NOTHING

I WANT NO

QUID PRO QUO

Donald Trump, emo poet!

Or maybe, scream band of one:

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Update (3:41 p.m.): An earlier version of this post stated Sondland donated to Trump’s campaign, but in fact Sondland donated to his inaugural committee. Jezebel regrets the error.

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About the author

Esther Wang

Senior staff writer, Jezebel