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Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Today’s lesson of the day is no, Grand Wizards are not cool, and yes, you are stupid for asking, and no, alienating Dungeon & Dragon fans is not a concern when fighting white supremacy.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Ivanka Trump, alabaster-skinned Trump heiress and senior White House advisor, does not believe she has any “obligation to moderate” the president, her father. “Well I think that my role, and anyone who works for the President of the United States, their role is to inform, advise and then ultimately execute,” she told hard-hitting news program The Dr. Oz Show. “Where I disagree with the agenda, I will share it with him quietly. I don’t view it as my obligation to moderate. And I don’t think anyone working for a sitting president should see themselves in that capacity,” she said. [People]
  • Special prosecutor Robert Mueller, who is leading the investigation into Trump’s alleged collusion with Russia over the election, is requesting a whopping 13 different actions by the White House. [The New York Times]
  • China is pissed at Donald Trump for making shit harder with North Korea. Me too! [The Washington Post]
  • Sen. Bill Cassidy, the co-sponsor of that vomit-stained pile of rags that Republicans call a healthcare bill, insists that his critics don’t know what they’re talking about. And after comedian Jimmy Kimmel called Cassidy a liar over his healthcare hypocrisy, Cassidy responded by saying “I’m sorry he does not understand.” [Los Angeles Times]
  • Hillary Clinton’s memoir, What Happened, sold 300,000 copies in its first week. Publisher Simon & Schuster says that’s the biggest first-week for a hardcover nonfiction sale since 2012. [The Washington Post]
  • In related news, Clinton told Stephen Colbert that macho man Vladimir Putin mansplained to her. [The Late Show with Stephen Colbert]
  • Trump’s approval rating is crawling back up, proving Americans have the shitty leader they deserve. [Newsweek]
  • Department of Health and Human Services head Tom Price has been racking up bills for private jets. [Politico]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.