Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Has 'No Further Comment' on North Korea

According to U.S and South Korean officials, North Korea fired a ballistic missile early Wednesday morning local time into the Sea of Japan, the latest in a series of tests leading up to Donald Trump’s planned meeting with Chinese president Xi Jinping, in order to discuss how best to prevent nuclear war. You’d think that Rex Tillerson, former oil executive and current Secretary of State would have something to say about this.

He did, but it wasn’t much. If you’re ready for it, here it is.

North Korea launched yet another intermediate range ballistic missile. The United States has spoken enough about North Korea. We have no further comment.

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According to White House officials speaking to CNN, Tillerson’s brief statement is not a reason to worry and certainly not any cause for waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, every hour, on the hour, from 4 A.M. to whenever your alarm goes off. It’s just a “signal the State Department will no longer put out routine statements after every North Korean provocation or missile launch.”

The Associated Press reports that according to analysts, North Korea “might time nuclear and long-range rocket tests to the April 15 birthday of North Korea founder Kim Il Sung, the late grandfather of current leader Kim Jong Un” in retaliation to what they perceive as U.S. aggression. Certainly Tillerson’s previous statement in March that “all options are on the table” when it comes to North Korea didn’t help matters.

It’s hard to do a job that you don’t know how to do and it’s much harder to fake it til you make it when half the jobs in your department are somehow still unfilled, but there has got to be a better way than this.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

Jesus fucking Christ. Okay so,, I am BLASTED right now (I somehow got convinced to chug a whole fucking pitcher of Bud Light, which like why the fuck am I able to be convinced to do such a thing when im 29 years fucking old but whatever), so Iam just gonna stream of conscious this, which I feel like I am already starting to do, but whatever.

ANYWAYS

Jesus fucking Christ. We are going to be in a fullscale nuclear war under Herr Fuhrer Drumpf arent we. This fucking video is LITERALLY COMING TRUE RIGHT FUCKING NOW HOLY SHIT I cant even handle (*EDIT* by the way I am like SUPER impressed with myself for being able to link that correctly)

I am drunk. And terrified. I will wake up with the worst hangover Ive had in a loooong time and I will still be terrfied because this SHIT IS SO FUCKED