Sanders and Cruz to Waste Everyone's Time With a CNN Healthcare Debate

Images via Getty.
Images via Getty.

Senators Bernie Sanders and Ted Cruz, two people the country wanted as their president even less than the two options we ended up with, will waste everyone’s time and whittle away at the precious supply of sanity we have left with a televised debated about the future of Obamacare.

You’re probably asking yourself a few things. Are either of these men currently running for elected office? No, they are not!

Then why do these motherfuckers look like Rocky vs Ivan Drago: the Advanced Political Years? Not sure!

Illustration for article titled Sanders and Cruz to Waste Everyones Time With a CNN Healthcare Debate

How exactly is this going to help anything except contributing to the already nonstop, vapid, sensationalist, bloated television news lineup? It won’t!

Are President Bannon and 45 going to watch the debate and change the one mind they share about Obamacare? I’m guessing not!

One could argue Bernie is attempting to inform Americans, specifically Trump supporters, how much President Bannon is about to fuck them over with this repeal. But if that’s the strategy, (and it’s the only remotely helpful one I can think of) why the hell would you send Bernie Sanders to relay that message—and on CNN? There’s not some inviting blue dog Democrat who isn’t able to speak in a tone that’s not “YELL” to do this?


Either way, one the world doesn’t need is any additional instances of old white men yelling at each other.

Ted Cruz needs to go get taken right after Liam Neeson loses his cell phone and Bernie needs to get the collective shit of the Democrats together and tell them to grow some goddamn spines and stop giving in to even a smidgen of President Bannon’s bullshit.


Following Trump’s America’s Next Top SCOTUS Pick absurdity, networks like CNN need to stop using these very serious times to drive their fucking ratings with idiotic publicity stunts like this. One way to let them know that is to not watch this drivel when it airs next Tuesday. Besides, that’s when the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills comes on anyway. You know, quality programming.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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Ugh, this isn’t Bernie kicking off a campaign for 2020, right? He’s too old?

Because honestly I would vote for pretty much any Democrat running against him. Is that petty on my part? Absolutely. But I’m just done with him (and the thing is that I agree with him on a philosophical level, it’s just his cult of personality shit is not my style).