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Racist, sexist accused child molester and Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore rode his horse Sassy to the polls today in a last-minute attempt to perform his weird brand of neo-Confederate masculinity. War, Famine and Death were reportedly close behind, am I right yā€™all?!?! Anyone seen Ryan Zinke?

Moore apparently rides his horse to the polls every time he votes, but it seems like maybe those are the only times he gets in the saddle, as my esteemed colleagueā€™s tweets suggest:

Granted, horses donā€™t typically love large crowds of reporters pressing in on them, but this is a damn mess:

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Iā€™ll keep Sassyā€”and the fate of mankindā€”in my prayers.