Roseanne's Ratings Will Rebuild Our Crumbling Roads and Bridges

Illustration for article titled iRoseannes/i Ratings Will Rebuild Our Crumbling Roads and Bridgesem/em
Image: Getty
Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • During a speech in Ohio that was ostensibly about infrastructure, President Trump took some time to share a personal anecdote about how Mark Burnett, co-creator of The Apprentice, called him to share the great news that Roseanne had really killed it in the ratings!! Television shows about fictional Trump supporters will repair the highways and fix the bridges! That’s the competent leadership we need. [The Hill]
  • Chris Chistie has yet to change his Twitter handle from @GovChristie, as evidenced by this cursed tweet in which he is embracing Jackie Robinson’s widow on Opening Day. Please leave her alone, Chris Christie. Thank you. [Twitter]
  • Small Keebler Elf Jeff Sessions will not appoint a second special counsel to look into the allegations that the FBI might not have followed the rules when securing a warrant against Carter Page in 2016. [Buzzfeed]
  • HICKS OUT. [ABC News]
  • Smarmy hottie Michael Avenatti’s request to depose Trump has been denied for the moment. [The Guardian]

Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:


Senior Writer, Jezebel

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JujyMonkey: unstable genius

As I posted elsewhere, Trump’s hard-on for Amazon has nothing to do with the postal system or vanishing brick & mortar retail.; he couldn’t give a shit about either one. His actual agenda is to cause as much trouble for Jeff Bezos as possible since Bezos is the owner of the Washington Post which, along with The NY Times, is doing an excellent job eviscerating Trump and his cabinet of deplorables.

Also, Jeff Bezos is an actual billionaire and not some preening grifter who’s leveraged to his eyeballs and drowning in debt.

Rule #1 with Trump: anything he does is being done for his benefit and his benefit alone.