Republican Senator Compares Health Care Negotiations to Porcupine Love-making

Photo: AP, this baby porcupine lives in Frankfurt, Germany.
Photo: AP, this baby porcupine lives in Frankfurt, Germany.

Millions of people’s health insurance (and, in many of these cases, their lives) depend upon the GOP being refused whatever sick health care bills they may come up with, and, meanwhile, Republican Senator Pat Roberts of Kansas is comparing this national embarrassment to cute animals banging.


On Wednesday, a reporter asked Roberts how the GOP will ever reconcile its hellish desire to jeopardize constituents’ lives so that health care can be prohibitively expensive with their political opposition’s responsibility to stop that from happening, and he responded, “Even porcupines make love.” What is that? Are you sure that’s your answer, Roberts?

Pretty sure! Roberts followed up by explaining, “Once in Glacier National park I saw two porcupines making love. I’m assuming they produced smaller porcupines. They produced something. It has to be done carefully. That’s what we’re doing now.”


The situation that Roberts was failing to describe is, in fact, quite different. On Tuesday, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell delayed a vote on the Republicans’ extraordinarily cruel “Better Care Reconciliation Act”—which the Congressional Budget Office projects will leave 22 million more Americans without health insurance—because it lacked even enough votes to be brought before the floor.

The Associated Press bothered to “fact-check” Roberts’ analogy, and found it wanting. Porcupines, after all, know how to fuck. 

contributing writer, nights

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Not the point, I know, but I’ve never seen a baby porcupine before and holy fuck is that an adorable little ball of prickly cuteness.