Illustration for article titled President Trump Is Shit at Keeping His Lies Straight
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Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

What a surprise, President Trump has been caught in another lie.

Anyway, on Friday ABC News reported that they obtained audio revealing President Trump telling his associates that he wanted then-U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch, fired. And guess who was there! Giuliani’s recently indicted goons, Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman. Reminder: Trump has insisted that he doesn’t know Parnas.

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From ABC News:

“Get rid of her!” is what the voice that appears to be Trump’s is heard saying. “Get her out tomorrow. I don’t care. Get her out tomorrow. Take her out. OK? Do it.”

On the recording, it appears the two Giuliani associates are telling Trump that the U.S. ambassador has been bad-mouthing him, which leads directly to the apparent remarks by the president. The recording was made by Fruman, according to sources familiar with the tape.

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The recording was apparently made in April of 2018 in the Trump International Hotel in D.C.

Honestly, I know that we’re know allowed to feel numbed and apathetic about this shit—it lets them win or whatever—but when it comes to the Trump-Ukraine brouhaha, it’s impossible not to approach every new confirmation that Trump lied with an eye roll instead. How are we supposed to act? Shocked? Dismayed? Please, those days are long gone.


In other gross Trump news, the president took some time out of his busy schedule to accuse Democrats of killing babies, just in time for Saturday’s annual parade of ghouls known as March for Life. See how much of this speech you can stomach before throwing your phone or laptop across the room:

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  • For those who weren’t lucky enough to stay off Twitter today, news that podcast blowhard Joe Rogan is thinking about voting for Bernie Sanders was one of the day’s biggest shit shows. The Sanders campaign posted a video in support of the tentative endorsement, which courted understandable controversy: Many—even loyal Sanders supporters—are concerned that the Sanders campaign is willing to pander to bigots while others believe that converting Rogan’s large audience to leftist messaging on healthcare and immigration can only help, not hurt. Sanders’s National Press Secretary Briahna Joy Gray released a statement Friday evening insisting that the Sanders camp will “never compromise our values.”
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  • In other Sanders news, he would much rather be in Iowa than Washington dealing with impeachment shit right now:
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  • And speaking of that: Impeachment viewership is low, proving it isn’t sexy enough for the American people. [New York Magazine]
  • Black people still don’t fuck with Pete Buttigieg. [Politico]
  • Joe Biden’s campaign staff in Iowa forced colleagues to drive in dangerous conditions in Iowa on campaign business. [The Nation]
  • Elizabeth Warren is trying to avoid drama:
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  • And Team Warren is trying to downplay the importance of winning early primary races. Instead, they’re focusing on overall delegate count as a path to victory. [CNN]
  • The Trump administration borked some data to help out their buddies in the logging industry. [The Guardian]
  • Thirty-four US troops were diagnosed with brain injuries following the Iranian missile attack on bases in Iraq. Trump initially brushed them off as headaches. [Politico]
  • Comforting: The new Border Patrol chief lied to Fox News about the administration’s family separation policy at the U.S.-Mexico border. [Media Matters]
  • And if that’s not disturbing enough, the director of ICE confirmed that they’re ready to deport DACA recipients if the Supreme Court rules in the Trump administration’s favor on the matter:

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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