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Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.  

Get excited: There are only 573 days left until the 2020 election. : ) : ) : )

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • At a fundraiser in San Antonio, Texas, President Trump expressed disappointment that his troops-rough-up-asylum-seekers-at-the-border fanfiction has yet to become a reality. “Our military can’t act like a military would act,” said Trump. “Because if they got a little rough, everybody would go crazy.” Trump also used the roundtable to spread more lies about dangerous migrants and the effectiveness of his fantasy wall. [NY Times/NBC News]

  • SPIES!!! -Attorney General William Barr [CNN]
  • Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand owned up to having shitty stances on immigration in the past. [Politico]
  • Polls indicate that Democrats really don’t give a fuck about Joe Biden’s chronic inability to keep his hands to himself. [Politico]
  • One in six migrant children in the U.S. are residing in a shelter owned by a private equity firm. Normal timeline we’ve got here. [Forbes]
  • White nationalists are projecting onto Andrew Yang. [Mother Jones]
  • Sen. Bernie Sanders rolled out a more expansive Medicare-for-all proposal. [Washington Post]
  • We’re getting another Trump baby. [People]
  • Let’s take a journey back to March 2015, when J.K. Rowling apparently revealed that Moaning Myrtle’s real name is... Myrtle Elizabeth Warren. I have no words, folks!

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Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

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This has been Barf Bag.