Please Take Out Your Tiniest Violin for Donald Trump, the Most Mistreated Person in U.S. History

Illustration for article titled Please Take Out Your Tiniest Violin for Donald Trump, the Most Mistreated Person in U.S. History
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Donald Trump has suffered. Sure, he lives in a nice, big house where he gets to drink as much soda and watch as much TV as he wants, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know pain. In fact, in the several-century history of the United States of America, our President has suffered the most—more than the Native Americans whose land we stole and people we killed en masse, and the slaves brought here in chains, and the soldiers who perished in war, and the women who were fatally injured getting back-alley abortions. What he has endured is unimaginable.


At least that’s what Trump told ABC News’s George Stephanopoulos during his much-touted President Trump - 30 Hours Sunday night interview special. Stephanopoulos made the mistake of asking Trump about the Mueller investigation, as if the President might have some response other than “NO COLLUSION BIG WITCH HUNT,” and Trump had this to say (emphasis mine)

TRUMP: Look. The Republicans in the Senate, every single one of them that I see know this is a witch hunt. They get it 100 percent. And that’s what matters. The Democrats are going to do it only because they might think it helps them. I think it actually hurts them in the election. But there’s never been a time in the history of our country where somebody was so mistreated as I have been. And this should never, ever be allowed to happen to another president again. A previous administration used the intelligence data and the intelligence agencies to spy on my campaign.


Trump, a president whose own immigration policies have resulted in the separation and internment of tens of thousands of children at our southern border, is a victim. Trump, whose negligent response to a post-Hurricane Maria humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico contributed to the deaths of at least 2,975 people, has suffered the most.

Let’s please reflect on Donald Trump and his pain.

TRUMP: Well, it’s— it— how can I communicate like that? I put one out this morning. And as soon as I pressed the button, they said, “We have breaking news.” Every network, every station. “We have breaking news.” They read my tweet. Why is that bad? And when I’m treated badly by the press— and nobody’s ever been treated badly like me. When I’m treated so badly—

On the bright side, at least one man in history can commiserate.

TRUMP: I— I disagree. Look, it’s been acknowledged. Although they do say Abraham Lincoln was treated really badly. I must say that’s the one. If you can believe it, Abraham Lincoln was treated supposedly very badly. But nobody’s been treated badly like me. And this way I can fight the dishonest media, the corrupt media, the fake news.


Won’t someone think of Donald Trump?


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chocolate covered raisons d'être

Well, when he explains it like can you not agree that he needs intensive psychiatric care?