Illustration for article titled Please Join Me in Visualizing This Wilbur Ross Dance-Off With Rudy Giuliani
Image: Associated Press

It’s summer, which means it’s time for Washington Post editor Elizabeth Morris “Lally” Graham Weymouth’s annual party in the wealthy enclave of Southampton, New York, where the very worst people in the world gather at her mansion to... dance and eat corn pudding?

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This year’s party included a special dance performance by none other than human piranha Rudy Giuliani (there, according to Page Six, with his “alleged mistress” Maria Rosa Ryan) and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, who is still alive somehow. They were so inspired that they had a little dance-off, which is quite possibly the most horrifying string of words I’ve ever typed.

Here’s how one anonymous guest put it to Page Six: “However bad you might imagine Rudy’s dance moves might be, he was upstaged by Wilbur who looked like a skeleton doing the ‘Happy Feet’ dance.”

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Jezebel has obtained exclusive footage of that dance:

Watching them jerkily move their decrepit bodies was a motley assortment of evil idiots (Don Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle, who recently bought a $4.5 million house in the Hamptons, complete with a gun room; Kellyanne Conway; Anthony Scaramucci; and Jeanine Pirro), snakes (my nemesis, Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao; former NYPD police commissioner Ray Kelly; Peggy Noonan), extremely rich people (Carl Icahn, Ron Lauder, Pepe Fanjul), and a bucket of people that I’m just labeling “???” (a whole crew of Democratic members of Congress from Debbie Dingell to Grace Meng; Martha Stewart; Hunter Biden’s former wife Kathleen Biden; Robert Caro).

Robert Caro, what’re you doing? No parties until you finish your LBJ biography!

Senior reporter, Jezebel

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