People Reports That the President's 'Good Boy,' Donald Trump Jr., Is 'Miserable'

Image via People.
Image via People.

Well, would you look at that: the cover of this week’s People is a flashy, splashy, gossipy look at the private misery Donald Trump Jr., is suffering in the wake of his father’s unlikely ascent to power.


One of the more surreal aspects of the early days of Trump’s presidency was watching publications like People spin their wheels figuring out how to cover a man who occupied a strange place between politician and celebrity. In October 2016, former People reporter Natasha Stoynoff published her account of a horrible few days at Mar-a-Lago during which she alleged Trump forced his tongue “down her throat.” These claims were corroborated by at least six witnesses. Then, in the days after Trump’s ascent to power, People published a “YAS PRESIDENT TRUMP” cover that (rightfully) caused controversy.

Eight months later, and we have publications like TMZ, The National Enquirer and Us Weekly seemingly fully in the fold, generally publishing positive coverage of Trump and his family. Contrast that with this piece on Donald Jr. and his “miserable” existence as the son of the worst President in recent memory; it reads a little like any other “insider” look at say, the crumbling marriage of a famous person. Still, if it makes you feel better to look at the various facets of this nightmare through the lens of a magazine that usually covers the comings and goings of celebrities, please, press on.


Being a member of the Trump family sounds like a particularly harrowing nightmare full of competition fueled by a megalomaniacal patriarch who is obsessed with “making deals” and “winning.” According to sources, “the family is guided by their father’s creed of winning at all costs and never admitting mistakes.” Trump pére defended his shiny-haired son in public for his brilliantly boneheaded decision to tweet out an email chain that incriminated him last week, but that mistake probably didn’t sit well behind closed doors.

According to People’s source, who has worked with the President in a business setting, “He doesn’t like failure and mistakes, and he doesn’t accept them. You have to justify your existence to be in his realm.” What a fun and supportive home environment! Seems like a great way to raise some well-adjusted and normal children. As a result of tweet with the emails that showed his ass, Don Jr. is now afraid to “do any deals” for fear of being “overly scrutinized.” Instead of calling the shots and doing the deals and play-acting like he’s the littlest tycoon, he’s just dragging his feet into the office, plopping down at his desk and, like a lot of us, waiting for this shit to be over.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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JujyMonkey: unstable genius


I hope Don Jr and the rest of the Trump brood are fucking miserable. I hope none of them can sleep at night. I hope they all have a constant burning sensation in the pit of their stomachs. I hope none of them have solid bowel movements. I hope their hair starts falling out in clumps.

I’ll exempt Barron from this.