Peepaw Needs a Ring Light... Quickly

Illustration for article titled Peepaw Needs a Ring Light... Quickly
Screenshot: Twitter/@TheHill

Senator Bernie Sanders is a man of modest means, nonplussed about fancy dress and right at home at messy office desks scattered with coffee mugs and old manila envelopes. Sanders is also, apparently, unbothered by lighting, as evidenced by a new video of the Vermont senator holding a virtual meeting with Vermont small business leaders on Wednesday.

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In a video reposted by The Hill, Sanders discusses the benefits of the American Rescue Plan, the $1.9 trillion covid relief bill that tackles everything from the vaccination rollout to education, childhood hunger, unemployment benefits, eviction reprievals, and more; not to mention those $1,400 checks.

“But if I have anything to say about it, we’re gonna go further,” Sanders said. “As all of you know, there’s a hot debate taking place right now in Washington about... a second reconciliation program, which will deal some of the structural problems, not just the emergency problems, facing the country.”

He continued: “I want you all to know, that in my view at least, that program is not just roads and bridges and water systems, but it goes into... human infrastructure. And that means expanding healthcare in a very significant way, expanding educational opportunities from childhood care to graduate school, it means making sure that we have housing... we’re talking about building millions of units of affordable housing and low-income housing... it means lowering the cost of prescription drugs.”

Sanders’s broad vision of what investment in infrastructure looks like is brilliant. But damn, does this man own a desk lamp?

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Screenshot: Twitter/@TheHill
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Honestly, I blame his Millennial and Zoomer staffers for this. They should have bought this man a ring light for his birthday or something. This fluorescent office lighting isn’t cutting it, Peepaw.

Fuck Amazon—a fact Sanders is very familiar with—but the influencer girlies love this $90 ring light kit. It comes with a tripod and everything. One of his employees with a Prime account to cop it on the DL and prop it up in his office and say it’s from workingclassunionshopmadeinamerica dot com, because Peepaw deserves better than this.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

DISCUSSION

$90 for a ring light? I mean, I guess if you want to pay full price like a FOOL. I got one of the giant ones advertised on here as a deal a while back for like $35.

ZERO excuses for Bernie being lit like a chump.