Oh Jimmy, Not the HAIR

Poor Jimmy Fallon makes enemies on all sides. Fallon conceded this week that the infamous Donald Trump hair-ruffle—which riled viewers and helped tank his numbers—was perhaps not his best career move. Now, he appears to have lost the respect of his most stalwart fan.

Indeed, Trump himself has turned on Fallon, though perhaps he’s long harbored resentment against late night’s softest comic for tickling the bog lemming resting peacefully atop Trump’s skull. It doesn’t like it to be touched!

Trump’s tweet is so rambling I lost track of the plot somewhere, but I have gleaned several facts from it. For one, Trump appears to take issue with allegations that Fallon “humanized”(emphasis on scare quotes) him, as Trump himself would never bother trying to trick anyone into believing he was human. For another, Trump intimates that Fallon is “taking heat” for something, though thanks to some errant parentheses and dashes, I’m not sure whether Trump is trying to say Fallon is “taking heat” for doing the “hair show,” or for whimpering about it.

Last but not least, Trump claims Fallon called him up and said, “monster ratings,” though considering the late-night TV numbers, it’s more likely Fallon was referring to Stephen Colbert’s show, which is trouncing him.